When trying to decide where to volunteer, she suggested a homeless shelter and I suggested a nursing home. I've always loved old people & there was one down the street from her apartment. That morning we had gone jogging together & decided to walk into the nursing home, hoping they didn't throw us out when they saw us sweaty. They had us fill out applications & ordered tb tests for us. We went home to grab our id's & get a shower in before we came back. To our surprise, they allowed us to start that same day.
Just one thing, girls, the staff said to us. We only ask that if you do want to volunteer here, that you keep coming. These people will get attached to you and ask for you. Most of them don't really get family visits, or if they do, it's not often. They will look forward to seeing you, so keep that in mind if you want to come by.
We both stood awkwardly waiting for direction & they had us start by wheeling most people to the activity room for a game of bingo. Some, we took to the cafe, some to the bathroom, and those that didn't feel like socializing, we took to their bedrooms. After a few minutes, my best friend and I were separated. I was asked to help with their snacks. Once they were situated, I talked with some of the ladies while they had their cookies and coffee.
There was one whose name was Julia. She sat in her wheelchair at the table enjoying her mid-day snack. She was sweet, asked me if I knew "Amparo." I smiled and said I didn't, and she'd go back for a few more bites. She'd take notice of me again and ask me if by any chance I knew Amparo. I'd say no again, and she, bewildered, asked me How do you not know Amparo Ruiz? She lives in Edinburg. I apologized, asked who Amparo was, and she said Amparo is my cousin. We live together. Later when I leave here, I'm going to walk to our house. I told her that was a far walk, but she said No, I walk from Mcallen to Edinburg every day.
There was Jane, a ninety-five year old lady. She was petite, casually elegant, a head full of short, wavy, fluffy hair. She told me that I was beautiful and that my long hair was beautiful. I was so warmed by that and said, Aww, thank you. You're beautiful, too, and I love your hair and the barrettes you're wearing. She chuckled and sheepishly said, Oh no, honey. You're so young. You're beautiful. I'm old and my hair is grey. It used to be dark like yours when I was young. The nurses fixed it up for me today. I like it this way. I told her that her red nails were also pretty, and she said that the nurses had painted her nails too.
She reached for my hand and held it, and we sat like that for a couple of minutes. Her hands were cold and immediately I remembered the also cold, skinny hands of my great-grandmother. My Abuelita Panchita. I used to like gently pinching the freckled skin on top of her hand and watch it stay like that, in a thin mountain. Then I would do the same to my brown, chubby, ten-year-old hand, but my skin would return to its taut position immediately. Buelita was comfortable like that. I swallowed back tears as I sat wishing it was Buelita's hand that I was holding. Jane mentioned that she was in a little bit of pain, as she nestled into a comfier position in her chair. It's no fun having two broken hips, trust me, she said with a chuckle and a wide smile.
I finally caught sight of my best friend and we were asked to help monitor the game of bingo. The two ladies we sat with were Dorothy and Virginia. They told us that we smelled nice and that we were pretty and that they were thankful we were spending time with them. Dorothy won that round and she called me her good luck charm because I had been helping her. I was excited that she won, so I waited for her to receive her prize, but they just moved on to a new game. I asked if they got prizes. They said mostly they were just given a red ticket with their name on it. Ok, so what do you do with the ticket? Nothing, they said. I kept my thoughts to myself as I helped them play the new round. Not even a sticker? I mean, they play bingo every day, a couple of times a day, and there's not even a small prize to look forward to? After their game, the four of us shared hugs. Virginia beamed and said, Thank you, I really needed that.
I hate to confess that we did stop going. Just like we didn't keep up the jogging or ever pick a country either. It's not that we didn't want to. Most twenty years olds are lazy. Especially in summers as hot as the ones in South Texas... There's just not a good enough excuse, so I won't make one.
I felt like shit about it, about not volunteering anymore. I was selfish. It was so uneasy, the way it felt to be so aware of desolation.
